The entire month of December can be crazy with all the holiday planning, decorating, and shopping. By now, you may be feeling burnt out from it all. This week is Christmas Eve and Christmas, and next week is New Year's Eve and New Year's Day. There's pressure to get everything done in time, to have enough gifts for everybody (and for them to like the gifts you got them), to create memorable experiences for your loved ones, to make delicious meals and desserts, to catch up with extended family members and not talk about anything that will lead to drama, and at the same time enjoy it all because before you know it this year will be over. Wow. That's a lot to expect of yourself.
For some people the holiday weeks are extra hard because of family dynamics, loss, medical issues, financial stress, or other hardships. Remembering how Christmastime used to feel and knowing you aren't in the Christmas spirit can be really emotional. Memories can be such a blessing but knowing that current experiences can't line up with past joy is incredibly difficult. Seeing other people super happy and singing to the music can cause jealousy. Watching families be together and knowing that yours can't....well that causes such a heartache that it's difficult to describe. It's hard to celebrate the holidays when you know that your circumstance is so far removed from what you picture as perfect. If this is your situation, know that you aren't alone. If this isn't your situation, realize that it is for many people and so giving others extra grace and kindness can go a long way.
No matter how you are experiencing Christmastime this year, it can be hard. The feeling of stress, pressure, anxiety, sadness, excitement, and hype can all be an emotional rollercoaster. Here are a few tips to stay present this week and next week so that you can enjoy Christmas and New Year's.
Practice gratitude every morning
Gratitude practice takes us right to the present by realizing all that we have right now. It allows us to stop stressing about the future and to be thankful for everything this moment. In order to practice gratitude, simply think of 3-5 things you are grateful for right now. Try to make these 3-5 things as detailed as possible. You can write them down or you can just think about them. With being in a time crunch during the holidays, you can even do this every morning as you brush your teeth or shower. Try and work it into your morning schedule so that you do it at the same moment every day. Examples of gratitude this week could be: I am grateful to have a house/apartment to have friends and family come over to. I am grateful that I have food in the pantry to bake cookies for my neighbors. I am grateful that I can provide some fun gifts for my kids/grandkids this year. Practicing gratitude every morning will force you to think of reasons why all this craziness may be worth it. It may also allow you to realize what is really important to you this week, and therefore maybe some of the excess craziness can be reduced because it isn't so important to you if there are 10 different dessert options. Throughout the day if you feel stressed or anxious about getting everything done, you can remember the things you were grateful for that morning and it will help to calm you down.
2. Make sure you take time for yourself
Even though you may be having 20 people over later and you have to do a million things before they arrive, make sure you still take time for yourself every day. Thinking that skipping your walk, reading, praying, yoga, or crafting time will allow you to spend more time getting ready for visitors is dangerous. It's dangerous because you need that time to yourself to mentally and emotionally prepare for the busy events later in the day. Without it, you won't have the same amount of energy and mental clarity you would otherwise have. You may still not have enough time and feel rushed and snap on people (or pets) because you are frazzled. Having that time to yourself in the morning allows you to better equip your brain and emotions for what you need to do later that day. Even if you aren't hosting a holiday party and you are just attending one, giving yourself time alone in the morning can mean that you have more patience for Uncle Fred who just won't stop nit-picking everything you're doing wrong in your life or cousin Susie who keeps asking you to play with you.
If holidays are tough for you, prioritizing time for yourself is even more important. It's hard to know that you are feeling differently about Christmas than most people, so you need to pamper yourself a little bit. Take the time to do exactly what you need. If that means taking a bath so you can cry in peace, do that. If you need to get out of the house, go for an extra-long walk. Prioritize time for yourself so that you can feel your emotions and work through them, instead of bottling them all up until you explode.
3. Put your phone away as much as you can
Technology has made our lives so much easier and yet it has also created a huge addiction. So many of us are glued to our phones, and I am definitely guilty of this! I spend too much time on social media, and I notice I am on it even when there is no need to be. When I am trying to get a lot of things done in a short amount of time, I sometimes need to put my phone in a different room so that I am not tempted to "just check Facebook for a few minutes". By getting my cleaning done in a shorter amount of time, I can spend more time doing things that matter the most to me, like taking in those special holiday moments. You can also change your settings on your phone so that it will lock you out of certain apps after you've been on them for a certain amount of time in a day. When I am around friends and family, I try to make myself stay off my phone so that I can enjoy the company of those who are physically around me. For some, this is easier than it is for others. You may need to put your phone in a different room and forget about it. If you're worried that somebody may need to reach you, you can silence all notifications except for phone calls. Staying off your phone these next two weeks will free up more time to soak in all the memories.
If you are missing people or if you aren't experiencing Christmas the way you would like to, staying off social media will also help by preventing you from comparing your life to others. It may be hard to see pictures of everyone celebrating together if you aren't able to be with them. Watching everyone post pictures of all the presents under their tree may be upsetting if you cannot afford a lot for your kids this year. Instead of opening yourself up to all of that, it may be kinder to yourself to simply stay off social media for a day or two. Instead, call a friend or family member and have a nice long chat. Connect with people in other ways, and then do something that you really enjoy.
4. Get enough sleep
We always hear how important sleep is. There's a reason why it's so widely known that we should be getting 7-9 hours of sleep each night. Our bodies need it to function. It may be obvious to hear, but getting enough sleep is critical to having enough energy to accomplish what we need to do each day. With holiday stress and never-ending to-do lists, sleep is even more important now than during normal weeks. Sleep allows our brains and bodies to rest. According to the American Sleep Association, it rejuvenates our nervous system by allowing neurons to repair themselves. Without enough sleep, our bodies and brains respond slower to what we are trying to do. It takes more effort to do tasks when we are tired than when we have had a full night's sleep. When something goes slightly wrong, we are more likely to react negatively. With a proper amount of sleep, that reaction may have been much smaller or possibly not even existent. Our emotions tend to be on overdrive when we are tired. If you get enough sleep each night, you can be more efficient in what you are doing, while also enjoying the moment more. Similarly to making sure you are still spending time on yourself every day, getting enough sleep will enable you to soak in the memories you are creating instead of feeling agitated with people (including yourself).
Overall, the holiday time usually goes by quicker than we want it to. There's always more we wished we had done. Instead of wishing we had done more, let's look back on the next two weeks and realize we made the most of it while by staying present. Merry Christmas and have a Happy New Year!
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