Do you know how sometimes you have a conversation with somebody about something totally random, but then it makes so much sense later that week (or month)? Maybe it's fate, or God, or the Universe showing you a sign.
This happened to me last week. I had a conversation with a coworker about how people can go through the same exact situation and feel it completely differently. It was a small, insignificant (at the time) conversation, but it was one that I knew was important enough to talk about more in my Facebook Yoga Group but then I didn't because I ended up getting Covid. After getting Covid, that conversation that we had impacted me even more.
Someone close to me made a comment about how even though I had a fever, it wasn't as high of a fever as when he .....xyz..... so my sickness was not as bad. What he didn't realize is that my body naturally runs at a lower temperature, so even a slight fever for me is a big deal. I know he was trying to make me feel better, but it made me feel worse because it felt like he was downplaying how terrible I felt, just because he had a higher fever. In reality, we both felt terrible in that situation regardless of who had the higher fever.
My point is, even though we may try to connect with people by saying we have been through something similar, we have to realize that it's a different experience for everybody. We all have different bodies, different histories, different memories and trauma, so we feel everything differently. You may have had Covid and it felt like allergies to you, but somebody else you know may have Covid and it knocked them out. It's the
me virus, but it can affect us all differently. Covid is an easy example for me to make because I just went through it, but this is the case for every life situation we face.
If you know somebody who is going through a breakup, a miscarriage, a job loss, an illness, an overwhelming time, a new life situation, etc., take a moment to realize that even though you may have gone through the same thing, it isn't necessarily the same for them. So often we can think "oh, it's just a cold.....she'll be fine" or "I had a bunch of breakups so she can get over this soon". I'm guilty of this too from time to time, so this is a wakeup call for me as well. Let's get out of the habit of comparison. Let's stop comparing other people's situations to our own, because although they may be similar, they are not exactly the same. Instead, let's show some compassion for the way that person feels in that moment. Yes, they will most likely recover and be fine, but it probably doesn't feel that way to them when they are going through that rough time. Offer help, sympathy, or kind words. Don't belittle their feelings by making them feel like you had it worse. Don't invalidate their hard time because you can see the light at the end of the tunnel for them. It's not helpful. Helpful is listening to them talk it out, offering to help with kids/pets while they focus on themself, taking them out to dinner/ice cream/a walk in the park. You may not even know the full extent of what they are going through, but you can realize that it is a hard part of their life. They need a compassionate friend instead of somebody who is judging them for it.
Comparison is natural. It is an easy habit to fall into. This is a simple reminder that a situation may appear the same to you, but to another person it could feel a heck of a lot different than your experience of it.
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